There is no miracle recipe to make a romantic relationship last, otherwise, we would know! Love is obviously the essential ingredient for the sustainability of the couple but it is not enough. Do you want it to last? Put all the chances on your side by feeding your love story with these 10 ingredients oh so important!
Respect the other
Benevolence is, as its name suggests, watching over the well-being of others. If you care about him/her, you must strive to act and behave in a way that does not hurt him/her.
This is not always easy, especially in the event of an argument, but kindness helps maintain the bond with your partner and helps build your relationship on a healthy basis. Concretely, it is a question of listening to the other to hear his needs and thus live better with them. This does not mean that we should understand them, because in a couple we do not always agree with what the other asks.
This is where communication within the couple takes on its full importance. It is through this mutual effort of listening and dialogue that the benevolence of one towards the other can be expressed.
Trust is one of the hardest things to earn. Having confidence in the other does not happen overnight. It is a daily job but once it is acquired, a certain serenity settles in the couple.
To trust the other is not to be afraid that he/she will hurt, disappoint or betray us. Learning mutual trust in the couple inevitably involves benevolence (we come back to this!), sincerity, and independence of each within the relationship. Be careful, to have confidence in the other, you must first have confidence in yourself.
If you don’t believe in yourself, how do you want to believe in others?
Trust is therefore a valuable element in all relationships, but especially in the couple. When there is no trust or it is broken by infidelity, for example, it is then difficult to continue the relationship in a serene way.
Concessions and compromises
In a couple, when one of them makes a concession, it means that he ends up accepting the position of the other, even if he does not agree, in order to end the conflict. So he makes the effort to put aside his opinion for the sake of the relationship.
While making a compromise is about finding a mutual arrangement that suits both members of the couple. In this case, neither feels aggrieved.
Concessions and compromises are necessary for a couple because they make it possible to put an end to disagreements without them degenerating.
Be careful, concessions should not be systematic, especially if they always come from the same person. In the long run, it may no longer bear to have to give in and therefore never be heard.
Never give way to boredom
As a couple for several years, you see a certain routine that is extinguishing the passion of the beginning. Do not sit idly by, react! The couple is maintained. If rituals are useful to strengthen bonds, novelty also has its place.
Try new activities, go on a trip to new horizons, and make short and medium-term plans. Take the opportunity to surprise the other with something new. The novelty is the best barrier to boredom in the couple.
Passionate love is characteristic of recent couples. It tends to disappear over the years to give way to love reason, a normal transition in couples that last. But it may be missing after a while.
This is why do not hesitate to bring touches of passion in the couple to revive the flame. Burning intimate moments, holidays for two in a heavenly place, thrilling activities… Put all the chances on your side to awaken the passion in your couple.
To be complicit is to understand oneself at a glance. This alchemy is precious (and often envious!) because it shows that in addition to love, the two members of the couple are united by a great friendship. It is this complicity that allows the couple to last when the passion wanes.
Taking yourself too seriously only fuels tensions. Laughing together promotes relaxation and complicity. It contributes to the well-being of the couple since it chases away tensions, stress, and disagreements. If you want it to last, never stop laughing with your other half!
Show love and remain independent
Demonstrations of love
Loving yourself is good, showing it is even better! These demonstrations go through tenderness and small attention on a daily basis. Kisses, tender gestures, looks, and caresses are all signs of affection that strengthen the bonds in the couple.
They must be reciprocal, otherwise, there is always one who will be frustrated, because of demand. That doesn’t mean we have to be on top of each other all the time.
We would then be in the fusion, a normal phase at the beginning of the relationship but suffocating if it lasts too long. In addition to gestures, being interested in others (their work, passions, culinary tastes, etc.) is also part of the demonstrations of love.
Living moments together is essential to make the couple last. But giving yourself time without the other is also necessary. Being in a relationship is not “becoming one”, it is building a unique relationship with the particularities of each (defects, qualities, education, past experiences …).
However, to be able to exist as an individual within the couple, each must be able to flourish without the other. Hence the need to maintain a certain independence. You do not exist only through your couple!
Expressing support for others in good times and bad promotes their well-being and therefore the long-term relationship. By helping your partner move forward with your support, you contribute to his development and this is necessarily reflected in your relationship.
Image Credit: Photo by Annette Sousa on Unsplash